It seems like a long time since it happened. Since i found out that one thing, that changed everything. Everything seems lost, i seem lost. But i had to do, what i did. It was best for the both of us.
It might not separate us anymore in the future, but will it be the same, will we fall in love again? I don't know. Life always has its way with the games it plays. To survive itself, is an achievement, that sadly a few don't achieve.
I still think about you every night. All the happy times we had, all the times we fought, the times we were sad. Your voice is recorded in my mind, for my hearing pleasure, anytime, thou i still listen to the recordings on my phone at night, and your pictures i see, your face always makes me smile. And i ask myself why? It wasn't perfect. I dint want it that way.
Your still in front of me, but its not the same. Now after i found out i wonder, did you love me the same way? I don't know. But now every thing's changed. I still love you, but i don't expect anything back anymore. I can't. I won't.
The tears used to come easy, when you were with me, even when we dint want it, it was unneeded. But now, i force myself, and yet even a single tear drop evades me. Its just the avalanche of emotions that still remains, added with that emptiness i feel inside. I can still just come to you, say I'm sorry, and maybe you would accept me thou you don't say it. But now i feel the difficulty of restraint and i stop myself, not just for you but also because i am selfish.
I don't blame you for lying to me. Even now i don't know why i still cannot get mad at you. I don't know if this is true love. I have dwelled in illusion in the past. Thou this time it seems to be real, i cant have you. We still talk, but we know it isn't the same, both our hearts mourning what's lost. I can only imagine, if this is me, what you're going through, but will you confide in me ever again??
Every thing's lost. But i shall always remain your and only your Xbox, & you my Akku. It was a sweet romance, i love playing in my head all day, all night. Muah, my sweetheart, my b*** j***. I still love you, and i want the best for you.
